Squeezed in the Middle

Squeezed in the Middle: What No One Tells You About the Sandwich Generation

No one warned us that this stage of life could feel like a slow-moving avalanche—coming at you from both sides.

One minute you're booking a follow-up with your mom's neurologist. The next, you're helping your adult kid navigate their job search or break-up or sudden cross-country move. Oh, and work still expects you to be "on," your house won't clean itself, and it's somehow already Tuesday.

Welcome to the sandwich generation. We're the peanut butter in the middle. We're the glue. The calendar keepers. The ones making it all work, barely.

It's not just exhausting. It's invisible.

You hold so much. But who's holding you?

The Weight of the Invisible Load

Most people don't see the mental math you're doing daily. The juggling act. The quiet grief of watching your parent's personality shift… or the tug of resentment when your grown child still relies on you in ways you didn't expect.

And underneath all that? A quiet little voice that wonders, When do I get to breathe?

That resentment you feel? It's not a character flaw. It's a human response to carrying more than you can reasonably hold. And the guilt that follows? That's just proof you care—maybe too much.

Where Do You Fit In This Picture?

This is the part no one talks about. When you've spent decades being responsible raising kids, showing up at work, managing the family group chat. What happens when your own needs finally knock at the door?

You might feel guilty for even asking that question. You might not even know what you want anymore.

That's completely normal.

Because when your role has always been "the capable one," it's jarring to realize you're tired. Or lost.

The hardest part is that you're not just managing tasks, it’s that you're managing everyone else's emotions while yours get pushed to the back burner.

Living in the In-Between

You might be thinking about retirement, or maybe you've already stepped into it. But instead of the freedom you imagined, you're staring down caregiving decisions, long-term care planning, and the unsettling feeling that your life isn't fully yours.

It's not that you don't love your family. You do, fiercely.

But love doesn't cancel out the overwhelm. Or the ache of putting your own dreams on indefinite hold. Or the fear that you're disappearing into everyone else's needs.

And you don't hear that validated nearly enough.

What Actually Helps (From Someone Who Gets It)

I'm not going to give you a shiny listicle or pretend there's a magic formula. But here's what's made a real difference:

Give it a name. "I'm in the sandwich generation" isn't just a label. It's permission to acknowledge that what you're experiencing is real and hard. When you can name it, you stop blaming yourself for feeling overwhelmed.

Find your people. Whether through coaching, friendship, or support groups. You weren't meant to figure this out alone. The relief of talking to someone who just gets it is profound.

Claim something small but yours. A garden. A book club. A walk where no one needs anything from you. Start ridiculously small if you need to. Even ten minutes counts.

Stop looking for the "right" way. There's no perfect blueprint for this stage of life. If you're fumbling through, making it up as you go, feeling like you're failing half the time? You're not broken. You're just human, doing something incredibly difficult.

Let guilt be a visitor, not a roommate. The guilt around taking time for yourself? It's going to show up. But you don't have to let it run your life. Feel it, acknowledge it, then do what you need to do anyway.

You're Not Doing It Wrong

This season is hard. You're being pulled in so many directions. Of course, you're tired. Of course, you're questioning who you are and what comes next. It makes complete sense.

You're allowed to want more. You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to matter in your own life.